Eric's story, Part II (the continuing saga)

As my brothers-in-laws were racing to see if I was alive, I climbed onto the rock jetting out of the middle of the pool. The events of the last 2 minutes began to sink in. I loosened my life jacket to gain more breath. I thought back to when I was under the water. Wow, I really could have died there, I thought to myself. Then I remembered there was something wrapped around my ankles at one point, and that something had felt different. I looked down and immediately knew the truth…I would like to tell you I was surprised, but it was not the first time I had lost my pants in public, nor in water sports. As I crawled out of the water, there we were. Three guys, three rafts, one paddle, miles from the car, the sun setting, one guy with no shoes, and another wearing only his underwear. You can’t make this stuff up.

As I stated before, it was not the first time I lost my pants. Let’s travel down memory lane for a moment. The year was 1989. I was playing at recess…tag of course, my favorite game. I was “it” and I was going after Alaina Ruffner. She was on the monkey bars; I jumped to tag her as she swung down to avoid the tap. Somehow her foot swiped across my waist knocking off the button to my shorts. Before I could act things felt a bit breezy. Now it is one thing to have your pants drop to the ground in front of a cute girl; it is quite another to do so before the entire fourth grade. The same year my underwear was confiscated and hung from the flagpole at camp, but that’s still a little to sensitive to discuss.

Let’s fast forward to 1998. It was a great day boating with some of my friends in the Pensacola bay. Tubing was the sport of choice, and we were attempting a very difficult trick simply called the roll. The roll was a maneuver we attempted after the tube flipped over due to the centrifugal force. Most people let go at this point, but not us. The goal was to roll the tube back over and pull yourself up, all while being dragged across the bay at 40-50 MPH. So here was my chance. My good friend David Mayo spun us around. I could feel the force pulling me over as we whipped around the turn at over 60. The tube flipped but I was determined to hold on. The tube was now ridding me as my body was skipping across the water. I managed with all my strength to flip it over. Now the hard part…Could I pull myself back onto the tube with all the force against me? I couldn’t believe it…I was actually doing it. Then I got the feeling that was beginning to feel familiar…There I was, skipping across the bay totally naked. So as you can see, being pantless was nothing new.

Now back to our story…With me on the rock and friends now seeing me alive, we had quite a road ahead. I managed to get over to the shore and from there we would have to climb back to the others. Now I am not really a big hiking and climbing kind of guy, especially carrying a 60 lb raft. This was no ordinary shore, however. In fact, it was no “shore” at all; it was sharp rock, thistles, and one other wonderful element that I will introduce later. Rob and I began the climb up the very steep, very sharp boulders. Again, I would not usually attempt this climb under normal circumstances, much less while carrying a raft, wearing just my underwear, and in case you forgot, after just almost drowning. But our options were limited. We somehow made the accent and descent back to the other rafts. Our plan at this point was to leave the rafts, come back tomorrow, and hope our original port which was close due to the forest fire would be reopened. We thought there might be a trail a few hundred yards above us, so we attempted to find it. After 20 minutes of climbing over rocks and through thistle-coated braches, we found the trail. Now it was simply a 2 ½ mile hike to the car. All of us were hurting pretty good at this point. Our 3 hour trip was now at 9 hours. The sun had done a decent amount of damage to our skin, I was still recovering from the event, and George was wearing Aqua Socks…not the best shoes for hiking through tough terrain. After the long hike we made it to the car. A car seat was never so comfortable as in that moment. The drive home was an interesting one of reflection. I could not wait just to lay down. But there was one obstacle… The living room where I knew the whole family was hanging out, was on the way to the bedroom. But at this point I didn’t care. Our spouses had been waiting quite awhile and were eager to greet us. As I walked to the bedroom I heard my sister-in-law say, “Interesting, it appears that Eric isn’t wearing any pants.” But again it wasn’t the first time I heard someone say this.

And so ends Part II. I would love to tell you the story ends here but it is only half over. Tomorrow would be almost as interesting.